Partying Pesach Style

Passover as a Jewish holiday is more marathon than sprint. It starts with a bang, the Seders - family, food, and tradition. Then the full implications of the Passover dietary restrictions (no flour, bread, or corn) set in and it becomes a very long week of eating potatoes, matzah, and the attendant digestive complaints.

To top it off, the last two days of Pesach are also a holiday and observant Jews don't work or watch TV, use computers, travel etc. So basically after a week of getting progressively grumpier about the food - you get two days of cabin fever holed up with your family (not that you don't love them...)

The solution is lubrication by libation (it may be politically incorrect - but many situations are vastly improved by a drink or so). Unfortunately, while Passover is deeply spiritual, it is not a holiday big on spirits. There is wine (actually required for the Seder) but beer and hard stuff is out. Man cannot live by wine alone (at least I can't.)

There is a liquor that is kosher for Passover. It is called Slivovitz. It is Hungarian plum brandy - it is potent. In the annals of drinks it holds its own with grapa (which I've been told tastes like gunpowder) and the "smokestack lightning" distilled in rural communities that inspires so many UFO sightings. Drunks in the gutter will turn down Slivovitz. Hardened drinkers who use astringents to mix "Witch Hazeltinis" will pass. Looking closely at a class full of Slivovitz hurts your eyes.

It is the alcohol equivalent to fruitcake. I've never known anyone to buy a bottle. I am working with several bottles (virtually untouched) that I inherited from my grandparents, who I believe received it from relatives in the old country.

But, still when you need I drink, you need a drink. After years of experimentation I learned a secret. Pineapple juice and lots of it! Somehow the sweetness and flavor counter-act the tremendous punch of plum brandy. I can't give an exact formula, something like five parts juice, one part Slivovitz. This reduces the Slivovitz punch down to a manageable tang. And that, of course, is the point.

Party On. Chag Sameach.

Sorry to be gone so long...

Someone forgot lost the password to his own blog.

They don't call me Father Goof for nothing.

I'm Back! After a Long House Arrest

One afternoon my wife came home to find the kids wearing my pajamas and whacking each other with whiffleball bats.

"Mommy we're Jedis!" my daughter announced, while wearing my (not fresh) pajama bottoms tied up under her armpits and swinging a green bat at her brother's head.

"Yeah, I'm Qui-Gon Jinn" my son yelled, parrying, while wearing my pajama shirt like a cloak.

"More like Qui-Gon Dork," she muttered, "Now where is your father?"

I was in the kitchen making chocolate chip pancakes with whip cream - for dinner.

She took away my blog...

Offsetting the Recession

Tired of hearing about my follicle oriented anxieties, my wife patted me gently on the head, kissed my increasingly exposed pate, and said,, "Don't worry there is more of you to kiss."

"Good, I'm growing more to kiss here to!" I said proudly, patting my expanding belly.

Pie Fears

I saw the very cute move The Waitress, in which Keri Russell plays a waitress who bakes wonderful pies. As she bakes she sings to herself:

Gonna bake a pie
Gonna bake a pie
Gonna bake a pie with a heart in the middle

Naturally the song is stuck in my head and I sing it to myself (not that I ever bake pies). Now, because my kids have heard it they are afraid of pie because there might be a heart in the middle.

That’s ok – more for me. Those books about how the human body works has really paid off.

Applying Political Theory to Parenthood

Having failed at so many, many worthwhile endeavors Father Goof is a graduate student. As part of my program, I am taking a course on political theory, which, to my surprise, is having practical applications to the art of parenthood. The other day we learned about the Borda count, an election method in which voters rate their choices and the candidate with the highest rating wins. My attitude towards democracy in the home usually echoes Lycurgus who when an Athenian told the Spartans to adopt democracy, answered, “Begin with your own family.”

Nonetheless the Borda count proved useful for maintaining social harmony in my kingdom. The other day, I picked up my son from school and asked him where he wanted to go to dinner. He told me Baja Fresh. I asked him what his second choice would be. At first he grumbled that he wasn’t really getting to choose, but I told him that if he picked two and his sister picked two then they would be bound to agree on one and everyone would be at least a little happy (thankfully they only eat at three restaurants.)

“Good idea Dad, but let me ask her which restaurant she wants for dinner.”

He is learning how to set the agenda to control the outcome – impressive.

When we got to her school he asked her, “Do you want dinner at Baja Fresh or the noodle place?”

“No Baja Fresh, I want noodles!” she voted.

“Daddy, she wants the noodle place.”

“Buddy,” I told him, “If you asked her right, she would have picked Baja Fresh and you would have gotten your first choice.”

“That’s ok Daddy. I was empowering her.”

I think I should stop reading my political theory homework to him for bedtime (although it does have the ended effect – Rawls, Habermas, and Dahl are good, but no one beats Amy Guttman for narcotic effect.)

Still it is an improvement, his previous attempts at empowering his sister have resulted in timeouts for him and the application of ice to his sibling’s forehead.