Newest Weakness: Achilles Scalp

Yesterday, I couldn’t think – all day. I had the strangest headache. Neither drugs nor naps helped.

Then I noticed that my arms were sunburned. It must have happened while watching my son’s football practice. The unprotected tip of my head must have gotten some sunburn too. When I showed it to my son, he was impressed, saying it looked like Darth Vader’s head underneath his helmet.

Cool. A small consolation for an unpleasant headache.

Thankfully, I also found the cure. To soothe my crisped scalp I rubbed on a bit of olive oil – thanks George Costanza.

Offsetting the Recession

Tired of hearing about my follicle oriented anxieties, my wife patted me gently on the head, kissed my increasingly exposed pate, and said,, "Don't worry there is more of you to kiss."

"Good, I'm growing more to kiss here to!" I said proudly, patting my expanding belly.