Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Tooth Fairy vs. Disney: The Final Battle

Because GoofGirl is extremely interested in the political and social affairs of the Tooth Fairy realm I tend to tell her when friends and acquaintances lose teeth. If she knows the person she has a pretty good idea what kind of tooth fruit the planted tooth will yield (reminder, GoofGirl explained that Tooth Fairies need our teeth as seeds.) Thanks to Facebook and the awesome power to tell everyone everything all the time, I usually have a fair amount of datato share with her.

The other day, a little boy we know who is vacationing at Disney lost his tooth. Naturally, as we were going to bed I told her, but instead of describing the fruit from the boy’s teeth she got very concerned.

“Daddy, this is not good.”

“What’s wrong?”

“The Tooth Fairy and the Disney Princesses, they don’t like each other.”

“Why not?” I asked innocently. Since my day job involves modeling violent conflict, Ithought there might be a grant in this.

“No one really knows who started it. But they battle with magic, the whole world could be in danger!”

“Why would that be?”

“The Tooth Fairy isn’t allowed at Disney because the Princesses and Tinkerbell don’t like her. But if there is a tooth she’ll try to get it,” she rolled her eyes at me – clearly in a hurry to get to the control center and enact Toothcon Four.

Then she turned suddenly, “Daddy, do you know about this from Facebook?”

“I guess, sure,” I answered – getting nervous because she was takingall of this so seriously.

“Oh no, Daddy! The Tooth Fairy reads everything on the internet. Now she’ll know, she’ll try to go to Disney, the Princesses won’t let her in, they’ll battle with magic and we’ll all be doomed.”

“There’s nothing we can do?” I ask, knowing that she will really worry about this and never get to sleep.

“Send them a message. Tell them to glue the tooth back in and don’t talk about it anymore.”

“I don’t think you can glue a tooth back in.”

“Then tell them to mail it to their house. Get it out of Disney territory right away.”

“OK, you go to sleep now,” I told her in my most comforting voice.

She lay in bed, one arm extended up and cried, “Tell them Daddy, tell them!”

So I told them, sparking a very strange Facebook thread. If the world comes to end, you’ll know why. And if it doesn't, you'll know who to thank.

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