Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Getting my Jokes

I lead my life like a self-aware character in a sitcom who occasionally steps out of his role and addresses an invisible crowd.  I am sharing a series of long complex jokes between myself and this imaginary audience.  I recognize this is very weird, and perhaps this blog does a bit to normalize things.

As a consequence, my conversations with my children are peppered with references to things they cannot possibly get.  They don't ask me to explain, possibly because I make it so boring or they have just gotten used to me.

We recently saw the movie Parental Guidance.  Without giving anything away the radio broadcast of the shot heard round the world from the 1951 Dodgers-Giants playoff figures prominently in the movie.  Going into the bottom of the ninth, Giant Bobby Thomson hits a homerun to win the game for his team, it is a big upset and announcer Russ Hodges yells excitedly, "THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT!" (Here's a link to the clip.)

I am in the habit of yelling that whenever the little Goofs accomplish anything.  For example:

"Dad, I got an 87% on my math test."


I also tend to yell it when I beat GoofBoy at Risk (let me correct that, the one time I beat GoofBoy at Risk.)

After seeing Parental Guidance GoofBoy said, "So that's why you are always yelling that thing about the Giants!"

Recently GoofBoy was home sick and, thanks to AmazonPrime, he began working his way through the old Star Treks.  He watched the episode The Gamesters of Triskelion, in which Captain Kirk is forced to fight aliens in an arena. While he battles in the arena some distinctive dramatic music plays and one of the alien spectators says to another, "I'll wager 300 qatloos on the newcomer."  This clip from the Simpsons pretty much covers it.

After seeing the episode, GoofBoy turned to MamaGoof in wonder, "So that's why Daddy always starts humming that music before we wrestle!  And that's why, whenever I start battling my sister he says the thing about the Qatloos."

I know it isn't age appropriate, but I really want to be there with them when they see Silence of the Lambs and realize the reference I was making when, during bath-time, I urged them to apply lotion.

I may not be a very good person, but I hope my imaginary audience is enjoying the show.

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