Monday, September 03, 2007

Back to School I: Goofboy meets PowerPoint

My son headed back to school. The day before starting, they had a brief orientation day and since Goofgirl's school was also on hiatus she came along.

Orientation, we were told, includes a PowerPoint presentation. My daughter got excited, "PowerPoint Daddy! PowerPoint. I like PowerPoint!"

Little did she know.

So the parents, the kids, the teachers, and a few random people seeking stale cookies (including my daughter) sat in first-grade desks while the teachers explained what our children would be doing all day. Then the lights dimmed.

The PowerPoint described our children's schedules in excruciating detail (10:11 - 10:13 AM, locate places for circle time, 10:13 - 10:15 laugh at underwear exposed as children sit on the floor...)

The Powerpoint presentation explained, The School's Philosophy of Education in approximate 208 points. The presentation broke these down into Objectives, Goals, Themes, Values, and Capabilities. All of this was punctuated by pictures of very cute children (who I did not recognize from school) hugging each other. This was in sharp contrast to the children before me who couldn't keep their fingers out of their noses and ears.

There was some detailed discussion of the school's facilities, including locker dos and don'ts (no drugs - no firearms, but nothing about porn.) The grand finale was a reminder of where we should send our tuition checks.

I don't know if this has been studied, but PowerPoint has pretty much the same effect on kids as it does on adults. My daughter, my son, and his classmates were snoring softly. A great way to make a bunch of first graders be quiet.

We'll add it to their bedtime routine: a 37 slide presentation on Why it is Bedtime Now.

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