Robot Rampage and other Things Daddies are Good For

My little girl has not been my biggest fan lately. She needs mommy time and lots of it. Dad is not of interest. When I asked her about it she said, "I like you at school, when you aren't there."

Touching.

Over the weekend my wife had errands to run and my son was off. She was furious at being left with me, sitting on the floor pouting. I offered to play with her toys with her. No interest. I offered to read a story. No interest. Finally, I ventured, "We could wrestle..."

"Okay," she said sullenly. Then, sadness forgotten, she instructed me, "Now you lie down here."

For her wrestling means I lie on my back with my legs a triangle. She gets on top of my knees and slides down. Reversals, pins, holds, and just generally tossing her around is a distraction from this primary purpose.

This is followed by a very specific sequence. I sit on the couch and she puts her arms around my neck and I carry her around. This is Backtime. When she is sated, she instructs me to sit down on the couch and she climbs up on my shoulders. This is the highlight, Necktime. During necktime she uses my head like a giant steering wheel to drive me around the room. But she always gives me directions faster than I can follow them. Then I start running around the room (with her on my shoulders) yelling "Robot rampage! Robot Rampage!"

The idea is that I am her robot, but she has overloaded my circuits. (There was an Isaac Asimov story about people riding on robots - although his robots never went on any rampages, thanks to the three laws for boring robot stories.)

This is not the end. But after I run out of breath, she directs me back to the couch for Shouldertime. Here she sits on my shoulder and pretends to be my parrot. She has to sit on both shoulders.

I'm also a horse

Last night, as she was sitting on the couch I began crawling towards her. A big grin broke out as she climbed down, came up to me and yelled, "HIIUP!" as she swung herself up on my back for a quick run around the living room.

The big finale is when she stands up on my back.

Mommy doesn't do any of the above (and frankly, why should she?)