Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Holiday Meals with Love

The Goof clan has survived Rosh Hashonah yet again. Welcome 5770.

A high point of our holiday was Mama Goof's quiche. It is always such a hit, that as a public service I have written up (and embellished) the instructions and put them online.

Nonetheless, do not necessarily expect similar results. Mama Goof (now joined by GoofGirl) insist the secret ingredient is love. Ironic that a love-based dish is so bad for the heart.

Quiche non-Lorraine

(Terms that are underlined and in italics refer to the royal we)

Required Supplies

• Pastry shell

• 1 1/4 cups (about 6 oz.) diced or thinly sliced swiss cheese (remember when measuring to take the holes into account)

• 4 (four) eggs – chicken preferably – do not use ostrich eggs (the baking process could cause them to mutate and hatch creating a horrible lactosaurus)

• 1 1/4 cups whipping cream (make sure to pronounce the h in whipping, whipped will also work, but who wants sullen cream?)

• 1/2 cup milk

• 1-2 cups of frozen chopped spinach or sliced mushrooms (if you wish – we find it quite tasty)

Some people include nutmeg, some people believe the universe rests on the back of a giant turtle – neither applies to us nor should it apply to you


i. Evenly distribute cheese (and mushrooms or spinach if you choose to include them) over the bottom of the baked pastry shell

ii. Beat eggs (mercilessly – but don’t enjoy it, that’s creepy) until blended then mix well with cream and milk

iii. Pour over cheese (ingest lactase enzyme tablets)

iv. Bake at 325 degrees for about 40 minutes or until custard appears firm when pan is gently shaken (amongst the chichi quichey circles this is known as “Custard’s Last Stand”)


noteverstill said...

1) Shanah tovah and 2) my goodness, I love MamaG's quiche, but doesn't quiche Lorraine by definition have bacon in it? is this Florentine, maybe?
(I always skip nutmeg, too. And ostrich.)

Father Goof said...

Clearly one of the StaffGoofs was not on the ball. He has suffered for this. We would never eat Quiche Florentine due a long-standing enmity between the Goofs and the Florentines that dates back to the Middle Ages.

In becoming kosher, there was perhaps no greater loss then the succulent, lean meat of the baby dinosaur. Nonetheless, you are right it (along with many other things) is not fit for quiche.

JAS said...

Dude, you have missed your calling. Ever consider a career as a cookbook author?

Alice said...

Another good reason not to use ostrich eggs - how can you be sure they are kosher?