The President Speaks to My Son

In a few hours my kids will be exposed to the President, I rather look forward to it – or at least the aftermath.

I don’t think the speech will turn my kids into Communists, an outcome I kind of expect anyway (my Trotskyite father’s revenge – he wanted a red diaper baby, I gave him every color but…)

Based on the prepared remarks it looks like the same kind of pap that principals, teachers, and other good citizens (including occasionally parents) try to tell kids daily – rife with earnestness and a few lame attempts at humor. Will the kids buy it because it comes from THE PRESIDENT? Does the President believe that they will buy it because he says it? He has daughters. He can’t possibly believe this. I’m sure when he pontificates at the dinner table Sasha and Malia roll their eyes at their dad, just like every other daughter in history. (Please don’t tell me this is just me.)

I am looking forward to a different aspect of this Presidential address. My son seems to believe that it will be a two-way communication. I have not discouraged this notion. My son likes to talk about sports. He attempts to discuss them with me incessantly even though my sports knowledge effectively ends with Wee Willie Keeler. My son is hoping to talk sports with the President. My son would also like to talk sports with his sister, his grandparents (who reject athletics as an element of bourgeois cultural hegemony) dogs, light fixtures… and you.

I told my son that the President would love to talk sports with him, but his stick in the mud teachers will probably try to keep him quiet.

I look forward to this afternoon’s phone call.