Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Don't discuss changin' (diapers)

At some point you are going to want to humorously complain to your friends about diaper changing and your child's chemical weapons quality excretions.


Your wife will frown at you and observe that you change about one diaper a week. This will set in motion a discussion you do not want to have. When you contest her she will be able to recall, with absolute precision, the time, volume, and velocity of every diaper change going back to the baby's birth. How you, while watching the game promised to "Get the next one" three months ago (she's waiting.) Or the time the baby had one of those IED poops that spattered the room at three AM and she had to run a load of laundry - and you slept.

In short - you lose!

Alternately, on the off chance you do change your share of diapers and you can prove it you will have just shown up your wife as an inadequate mother in front of all your friends. She might cry.

You lose.

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