Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Velcro: A Cost Benefit Analysis

No doubt you vowed that your children would not have velcro shoes - that they would learn to tie their shoes and that velcro was an abomination before the Lord.

I did.

But the other day the preschool director was giving me a foul look when I brought my children in ten minutes late. The reason - besides a blockage in my intravenous coffee drip - a knot in my two year old daughter's shoe. Not to take anything away from Alexander the Great, but I had an additional challenge as I struggled with this Gordita knot*, my four year old was telling me, "Chewbacca and Anakin are friends and together they met Yoda and learned the Force, and Daddy, I'm serious this happened..." Nothing like a high-pitched voice talking extremely fast to improve your concentration and fine motor skills. After ten minutes of this I went to put my son's shoes on. This took some doing because he kept jumping up to roar like a Wookie.

Meanwhile my daughter pulled her shoes and socks off...

They can learn to tie their shoes in college. In the morning I need speed. If velcro shoes save me ten minutes a morning that adds up to an hour a week, which is more than a workweek a year. This will also lower your blood pressure. Plus it saves me the scorn of the preschool teacher.

But, all things have a price. I have lost numerous ties to velcro snaps on their jackets. (Once they learn how to do the velcro on their shoes Pandora's Box is open - it cannot be closed. They will randomly rip open the velcro snaps on their jackets.) This is a price you will have to pay.

* This is a double reference - to the unsolvable Gordian knot that Alexander the Great split with his sword and the Spanish word gordita which means "Little fat one" (yes, like the things they sell at Taco Bell.)

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