Sunday, March 29, 2015

Celebrity Crushes

Stand-up comic John Mulaney has a great bit about Ice-T on Law and Order SVU. Since MamaGoof is such a huge SVU fan, I thought I’d share it with her. It was after dinner, GoofGirl had gone to bed.

Much to my surprise, she knew a great deal about Ice-T. He apparently had a reality show and a new young wife. As MamaGoof told me this I realized, Ice-T is her celebrity crush (possibly along with Christopher Timothy who played James Herriot in BBC’s All Creatures Great and Small.) Mama Goof denied it of course, “I just watched Ice’s reality show for one episode. Of course her calling him “Ice” said it all.

She quickly turned the tables, “Who’s your celebrity crush?”

“I’ve got a bunch!"

GoofBoy chimed in, “Tina Fey, Tina Fey and Tina Fey!”

No denying it, I won’t even watch Jason Sudekis vehicles because he played her boyfriend on 30Rock. But there are others, plenty of others.

“Pebbles from the Flintstones was one of my first.”

“What dad? She was a baby and a cartoon! That's weird!"
“No the Pebbles from the later episodes when she was grown-up and dating Bam-Bam. Besides I was just a kid - I’m not that weird."

Let me just add, I was ten and if you look at this picture of grown-up Pebbles I don't think I was so crazy.

And then there was Robin.

"What was she in?"

"Not she. Robin Yount, the Brewers shortstop, you know, the signature in my baseball glove."

"Dad, this is kinda weird."

"OK, just to be clear, it isn't like I dreamed about him. Well, once. I dreamt I was at the game and he hit a home run and 'Your Wildest Deams' by the Moody Blues played over the stadium sound system. That's it."

MamaGoof's jaw hung open.

"Look, the man had 3000 hits, switched positions from shortstop to centerfield - won MVP at both - the only player to do this. I'm pretty comfortable with this."

"But, but," MamaGoof sputtered, "What about Eddie Murray and the Orioles?"

"Oh no, they were like gods to me. They were beyond crushes."

"You just liked the mustache," MamaGoof observed.

"Yea, but if it was just about the mustache I would've been into Rollie Fingers."

"Dad, please, please stop talking until I can get upstairs, into bed and smother myself with a pillow."

The next morning, sitting as I was getting my coffee I mentioned Pebbles to GoofBoy who begged me to forget everything. GoofGirl cried angrily, "I miss everything good!"

Her brother reassured her, "No, really, you didn't. It was horrible."

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