Let me come right out, risking flaming and opprobrium, and say it Jeanne Deprau’s, City of Ember and its sequels are better then Harry Potter and I think my kids learned more from them. They aren’t more exciting (and I’m certainly not saying that Harry Potter isn’t very good), but their themes are deeper and subtler. If Harry Potter is chocolate chocolate chip ice cream, then The City of Ember is French vanilla.
Quick summary, Ember is a city deep underground surrounded by darkness. An aging generator that fails more and more frequently powers the lights and thus sustains life itself. The people of the city have no idea that there is any world beyond their home or that they are underground or why they are there.
I give nothing away when I explain that the city was built as a reserve against the possibility of cataclysmic war and that the inhabitants had instructions on how to leave that were supposed to be revealed years ago. But the instructions were lost and the city is running low on supplies. A pair of teens discover the remains of the instructions and ultimately find their way of out of the city.
In the sequel, The People of Sparks the refugees from Ember, now on the surface encounter a village which wrestles with what to do with these newcomers. In the final book of the series, The Diamond of Darkhold the main characters return to Ember.
What do I like?
First, there is no Dumbledore (not that Dumbledore is not awesome) but in the Ember series the kids figure things out for themselves. There is no wizard to guide them.
Second, there is no Voldemort. This is not about good versus evil. There are good people and bad people. But the bad people are usually bad in their smallness and their greed. This has a quality of realness, rather then the more cartoonish figures of Harry Potter. Children will meet petty adults, they will hopefully not encounter Voldemort.
Third, the action is low-key. There is action, tension, and scary moments. But there is very little deadly violence (although there is modest violence.) It is not Harry Potter exciting, but things happen. Prophet of Yonwood is a “prequel” to the series and its connections to the other books are pretty nominal. BUT, it does a terrific job of depicting a dictatorship emerging in a way that is harrowing, but completely appropriate for children –a nice bit of writing.
Fourth, the writing is clear and gentle. I also like the descriptions of both life in Ember and life in the post-disaster world in which people are struggling to rebuild. There is not discussion of grand politics, but rather a sense of how day-to-day life is lived.
Fifth, is the way the commonplace becomes magical. Anyone could write about a world of spells and fantastic creatures. But in the Ember series (particularly the first and last books) electricity, and the lack of it, are important elements of the plot. Much that is commonplace for us is in fact quite magical – if we open our eyes to it.
Finally, the City of Ember works to introduce children to one of the most profound ideas in history, Plato’s Allegory of the Cave.
The Movie
City of Ember was made into a movie and I would be remiss to not mention it. The action is “bigger” as befits a movie for the big screen, but it is basically true to the book appropriate to children of kindergarten age and up – and it has Bill Murray who is always fun to watch!
City of Ember was made into a movie and I would be remiss to not mention it. The action is “bigger” as befits a movie for the big screen, but it is basically true to the book appropriate to children of kindergarten age and up – and it has Bill Murray who is always fun to watch!
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query potter. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query potter. Sort by date Show all posts
Friday, August 12, 2011
Friday, May 08, 2009
Mythic Journey: Endor, Hogwarts, and Philadelphia
My son and my brother share a bond. They were born on the same day and have innumerable similarities (such as an interest in watching and playing sports) not shared with me. This proves yet again that the Almighty has a great sense of humor. I was a terrible big brother, beyond the tormenting typical of big brothers I was fundamentally opposed to his existence – I had lobbied for a dog. My father was allergic to dogs. I countered (throughout my childhood) that I was allergic to my brother. In my son I am getting the chance to right my ancient wrongs. He is the little brother I always wanted.
My son had seen two of the three original Star Wars movies. My brother and I had discussed meeting at his place near Philly to watch one of the movies on his big-screen TV – but plans kept falling through (my brother is handicapped with having a regular job). The whole thing was looking less and less likely as my brother will soon have a child of his own. But then I checked my calendar and saw my son’s school was closed last Monday.*
Daddy, Where are we going?
I called my brother and everything worked. I decided to surprise my son.
So, Sunday afternoon I surreptitiously loaded the car, and told my son to come join me for a couple of errands. We put on a CD of Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix on and began driving. After about an hour, he asked me where we were going? I told him, “Some errands.”
We stopped at a rest stop, where I bought him the forbidden elixir – Coca-Cola. I said, “Here it is! Isn’t this cool, all these restaurants and shops, right on the highway?”
“Yeah, it is neat,” he answered, “Is this really where we are going?”
“Get back in the car.” Events at Hogwarts continued to unfold.
Half an hour later he asked if we were heading home yet. No, we hadn’t done any errands. A little after that he asked again, “Daddy, where are we going?”
I told him to look at the highway signs. Harry Potter’s battle against Voldemort continued.
We passed under a highway sign directing us to Philadelphia and everything clicked. My the little Goof put it together instantly yelling, “We are going to my uncle’s house to watch Return of the Jedi!”
The Main Event – WARNING: Plot Spoilers Ahead
We had pizza and age appropriate drinks and watched favorite scenes from the first two movies. Then we sat down and watched. My son loved it, no boring parts – every scene, he said, had a battle. I asked, “What about when Yoda died?”
My brother chimed in, “He was fighting for his life.”
Although they were criticized by some of my more cynical friends as “teddy bears with guns,” my son loved the Ewoks – probably because they were in fact teddy bears with guns. It occurred to me that a great deal of planning must have gone into the Ewok attack on the Storm Troopers, giant log traps and catapults don’t just build themselves.
Archetypal Voyage Home
The next day it was too rainy to enjoy most of the proximate historical sites, and we had to get home in time to pick up my daughter from daycare. We did stumble upon a local sports museum – teaching my son a cardinal rule of road trips – it isn’t about the destination, it is about what you find on the way.
We spent the morning and afternoon driving home listening to more Harry Potter. I would occasionally stop the story and make a few points.
“When they use the pain curse on Harry Potter, isn’t that just like when the Emperor used the Force lightning on Luke?”
“Isn’t what Dumbledore is telling Harry just like what Obi-Wan told Luke?”
“Daaad, enough about archetypes – can’t we just listen to the story?”
*My son’s school is but another illustration of the maxim, the more expensive the school the more often they close. I understand closing for Jewish holidays – it is a Jewish day school. But they also have a lot of professional days – aka three-day weekends.
My son had seen two of the three original Star Wars movies. My brother and I had discussed meeting at his place near Philly to watch one of the movies on his big-screen TV – but plans kept falling through (my brother is handicapped with having a regular job). The whole thing was looking less and less likely as my brother will soon have a child of his own. But then I checked my calendar and saw my son’s school was closed last Monday.*
Daddy, Where are we going?
I called my brother and everything worked. I decided to surprise my son.
So, Sunday afternoon I surreptitiously loaded the car, and told my son to come join me for a couple of errands. We put on a CD of Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix on and began driving. After about an hour, he asked me where we were going? I told him, “Some errands.”
We stopped at a rest stop, where I bought him the forbidden elixir – Coca-Cola. I said, “Here it is! Isn’t this cool, all these restaurants and shops, right on the highway?”
“Yeah, it is neat,” he answered, “Is this really where we are going?”
“Get back in the car.” Events at Hogwarts continued to unfold.
Half an hour later he asked if we were heading home yet. No, we hadn’t done any errands. A little after that he asked again, “Daddy, where are we going?”
I told him to look at the highway signs. Harry Potter’s battle against Voldemort continued.
We passed under a highway sign directing us to Philadelphia and everything clicked. My the little Goof put it together instantly yelling, “We are going to my uncle’s house to watch Return of the Jedi!”
The Main Event – WARNING: Plot Spoilers Ahead
We had pizza and age appropriate drinks and watched favorite scenes from the first two movies. Then we sat down and watched. My son loved it, no boring parts – every scene, he said, had a battle. I asked, “What about when Yoda died?”
My brother chimed in, “He was fighting for his life.”
Although they were criticized by some of my more cynical friends as “teddy bears with guns,” my son loved the Ewoks – probably because they were in fact teddy bears with guns. It occurred to me that a great deal of planning must have gone into the Ewok attack on the Storm Troopers, giant log traps and catapults don’t just build themselves.
Archetypal Voyage Home
The next day it was too rainy to enjoy most of the proximate historical sites, and we had to get home in time to pick up my daughter from daycare. We did stumble upon a local sports museum – teaching my son a cardinal rule of road trips – it isn’t about the destination, it is about what you find on the way.
We spent the morning and afternoon driving home listening to more Harry Potter. I would occasionally stop the story and make a few points.
“When they use the pain curse on Harry Potter, isn’t that just like when the Emperor used the Force lightning on Luke?”
“Isn’t what Dumbledore is telling Harry just like what Obi-Wan told Luke?”
“Daaad, enough about archetypes – can’t we just listen to the story?”
*My son’s school is but another illustration of the maxim, the more expensive the school the more often they close. I understand closing for Jewish holidays – it is a Jewish day school. But they also have a lot of professional days – aka three-day weekends.
Friday, May 04, 2012
My verdict: Percy Jackson bests Harry Potter
We are nearing the end of the Percy Jackson series. I reviewed it before and argued that while it would be easy to deride it as a Harry Potter knock-off, it was pretty good in its own right. Further, one of the things I really liked was that there was something at stake. The doings of the Greek pantheon and their heroes were plugged into the mortal world and we learn that if the pantheon goes, Western civilization goes with it. (I’m pretty keen on Western civilization.)
One thing that always bugged me in Harry Potter was the scene at the beginning of book six, when the Muggle Prime Minister meets with the Minister of Magic. Top-level politicians don’t tend to be passive types. I can’t help but think that the prime minister’s reaction to these magic types wreaking havoc in his country might involve F-16s and Tomahawk cruise missiles. Being a wizard does not make one bulletproof and for all of their magic powers, except for Dumbledore none of them seemed all that clever.
I’ve probably gone a bit farther with this then is completely healthy. I imagine the prime minister calling in the head of MI-5 and bringing George Smiley out of retirement. I see Mundungus Fletcher being waterboarded. I see cruise missiles slamming into Hogwarts and Special Air Service commandos clearing out Diagon Alley.
OK, maybe I went a little far with this. But in the Percy Jackson series, usually the mortals are unaware of what’s going on – but when given a chance they fight monsters and do pretty well. In fact, my favorite scene is when the tide of battle turns and the father of a daughter of Athena shows up in the Sopwith Camel he had reconstructed – machine-gunning Titans and medusae. I kept hoping for a reprise, but no luck.
There are innumerable intriguing bits in this series. In the section we just listened to Hermes and Percy discuss the “Mist” which prevents mortals from seeing the activities of the deities and monsters. In some profound sense, this rings true. Not that I’ve become a pagan, but the idea that we only understand the surface of things and how we create stories to explain things to give us an illusion of understanding is humbling.
Also, I love the centaurs. In Harry Potter they are mysterious creatures that possess a deep wisdom. But the ancient Greeks saw the centaurs as dominated by their beastly appetites – and in Percy Jackson they are party animals.
I can offer no higher praise then to say that I am sorry the series has come to an end.
One thing that always bugged me in Harry Potter was the scene at the beginning of book six, when the Muggle Prime Minister meets with the Minister of Magic. Top-level politicians don’t tend to be passive types. I can’t help but think that the prime minister’s reaction to these magic types wreaking havoc in his country might involve F-16s and Tomahawk cruise missiles. Being a wizard does not make one bulletproof and for all of their magic powers, except for Dumbledore none of them seemed all that clever.
I’ve probably gone a bit farther with this then is completely healthy. I imagine the prime minister calling in the head of MI-5 and bringing George Smiley out of retirement. I see Mundungus Fletcher being waterboarded. I see cruise missiles slamming into Hogwarts and Special Air Service commandos clearing out Diagon Alley.
OK, maybe I went a little far with this. But in the Percy Jackson series, usually the mortals are unaware of what’s going on – but when given a chance they fight monsters and do pretty well. In fact, my favorite scene is when the tide of battle turns and the father of a daughter of Athena shows up in the Sopwith Camel he had reconstructed – machine-gunning Titans and medusae. I kept hoping for a reprise, but no luck.
There are innumerable intriguing bits in this series. In the section we just listened to Hermes and Percy discuss the “Mist” which prevents mortals from seeing the activities of the deities and monsters. In some profound sense, this rings true. Not that I’ve become a pagan, but the idea that we only understand the surface of things and how we create stories to explain things to give us an illusion of understanding is humbling.
Also, I love the centaurs. In Harry Potter they are mysterious creatures that possess a deep wisdom. But the ancient Greeks saw the centaurs as dominated by their beastly appetites – and in Percy Jackson they are party animals.
I can offer no higher praise then to say that I am sorry the series has come to an end.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Harry Potter Debates
On a recent drive, my daughter called out, “Look a dragon on a castle!”
We were passing a mini-golf course, but both my son and I insisted that we hadn’t seen it and thus, she must have magical powers.
This adds fuel to the Goof clan’s lively discussion about whether or not Harry Potter is real. My daughter is certain (she views her life with us like Harry’s with the Dursleys). My son is hopeful, and I am carefully non-committal, giving the kids reason to believe it might be so. My wife just rolls her eyes at us.
My daughter watches the movie with a keen eye, because she believes firmly that she will be going to Hogwarts and studying magic. She’ll ask:
“What are the bathrooms like?”
“Do they ever celebrate Jewish holidays at Hogwarts?”
“I don’t think quidditch is a nice game for children, do I have to play if I go to Hogwarts?”
I’ve also caught her, waving magic markers, spoons, or stuffed animals at her brother and muttering under her breath.
She also keeps asking me to play this YouTube video of Avada Kedevra (the Killing Curse). She is studying it a little too carefully. This is not good, but in character for her.*
Recently, the three of us took a a Facebook quiz, “A More Accurate Harry Potter Sorting Quiz.” This determines which house of Hogwarts the taker should go to – Harry Potter and his mates are all in Gryffindor. My son and I were placed in Hufflepuff – which we were ok with. I believe (philosophically at least) that it is important to be nice and my son likes Cedric Diggory. My daughter got Ravenclaw and was very upset. She wants to be in Gryffindor with Hermione. Of course, if she keeps doing the killing curse, I warned her, she’s going to end up in Slytherin – and she doesn’t like snakes. But she does love her forbidden spells.
*My wife is extremely upset that our daughter wanders around the house practicing the killing curse (mostly using a pink magic marker). This makes no sense to me, since my Mama Goof doesn't believe any of it is real, so what harm is there in a five year old in cupcake pajamas leaping around the house yelling, "Avada Kedevra!"
We were passing a mini-golf course, but both my son and I insisted that we hadn’t seen it and thus, she must have magical powers.
This adds fuel to the Goof clan’s lively discussion about whether or not Harry Potter is real. My daughter is certain (she views her life with us like Harry’s with the Dursleys). My son is hopeful, and I am carefully non-committal, giving the kids reason to believe it might be so. My wife just rolls her eyes at us.
My daughter watches the movie with a keen eye, because she believes firmly that she will be going to Hogwarts and studying magic. She’ll ask:
“What are the bathrooms like?”
“Do they ever celebrate Jewish holidays at Hogwarts?”
“I don’t think quidditch is a nice game for children, do I have to play if I go to Hogwarts?”
I’ve also caught her, waving magic markers, spoons, or stuffed animals at her brother and muttering under her breath.
She also keeps asking me to play this YouTube video of Avada Kedevra (the Killing Curse). She is studying it a little too carefully. This is not good, but in character for her.*
Recently, the three of us took a a Facebook quiz, “A More Accurate Harry Potter Sorting Quiz.” This determines which house of Hogwarts the taker should go to – Harry Potter and his mates are all in Gryffindor. My son and I were placed in Hufflepuff – which we were ok with. I believe (philosophically at least) that it is important to be nice and my son likes Cedric Diggory. My daughter got Ravenclaw and was very upset. She wants to be in Gryffindor with Hermione. Of course, if she keeps doing the killing curse, I warned her, she’s going to end up in Slytherin – and she doesn’t like snakes. But she does love her forbidden spells.
*My wife is extremely upset that our daughter wanders around the house practicing the killing curse (mostly using a pink magic marker). This makes no sense to me, since my Mama Goof doesn't believe any of it is real, so what harm is there in a five year old in cupcake pajamas leaping around the house yelling, "Avada Kedevra!"
Saturday, June 02, 2012
Harry Potter & The Revenge of the Muggles
I’ve written before about how I’d like to see a more activeMuggle role in the Harry Potter series (in great part motivated by the Percy Jackson series where humanity matters quite a bit.) I’ve decided to take matters into my own
hands, and write some slight changes that would make the series work better for
me. My first addition should be placed
at the end of the very first chapter of the sixth book, Harry Potter and theHalf-Blood Prince. The Minister of Magic
and the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom have just met and frankly I don’t believe
the leader of a major country would simply roll over and accept the situation.
The Prime Minister slumped back in his chair. It had already been shaping up to be a trying day. There was a domestic
terrorism threat to monitor, some members of his party had to be pushed back
into line on the economic crisis, and there was a special operation in
Afghanistan awaiting his decision. Now
this, wizards running a muck and there was nothing he could do about it.
His intercom buzzed and the now familiar deep voice
announced, “The briefer from MI-5, a Mr. Geoffrey Grimace, is here. Shall I send him in?”
The Prime Minister’s jaw set and his eyes narrowed.
“Yes,” he replied, “Please send him in. Oh, and Shacklebolt, I’d like you to join us
as well.”
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
Book Review: Percy Jackson holds up to Potter
It would be easy enough to deride it as a Harry Potter knock-off. Obviously there are innumerable parallels to the world of Harry Potter – even down to the main characters. Young heroes train at a special camp, hidden from the world of mortals. In fact, much of the world of gods and heroes is hidden from mortals. The writing in Percy Jackson is not as strong – although some of that may be due to the fact that it is narrated in the first person by the main character. A teenage boy describing the world in rich, complex and neutral tones would be unlikely.
But while Percy Jackson suffers in direct comparison, it definitely has a charm (it can also be funny – although sometimes it tries to hard.) I keep recalling a literary critic comparing Dickens to one of his leading rivals. The rival could create planets, but Dickens created whole universes. But sometimes those mere planets were awfully compelling. By building upon an established mythology, the Percy Jackson series seems more limited then the universe of Potterdom. After all, Rowling’s work included a number of terms that have joined our vocabulary (although the only one springing to mind is “muggles.”) There were wonderful evocative names for people and things in Rowling's universe.
But the magic world was only partially connected to ours. In Percy Jackson the affairs of the Olympians are inextricably linked to those of mortals. There is a sense of something palpable at stake. Choosing to build on well-established archetypes helps teach children about them (plus it gives them at least a sense of Greek mythology). The Dumbledore-esque teacher of heroes (who – and I like this – is not nearly as formidable as Dumbledore) explains that Olympus dwells wherever the heart of western civilization dwells – and to find it, look at the architecture. Something at stake indeed!
Monday, November 12, 2012
Harry Potter 8.1: Age and Guile beat Youth, Innocence and a Bad Haircut
I have been told on good authority that Harry Potter fan fiction is primarily the provenance of dorky fourteen year olds (possibly a redundancy). Nonetheless, I'm having such a good time with my dark take on the Potter universe I can't bring myself to stop. For a quick re-cap, Muggles get tired of all this magic stuff in book six, in book seven Special Forces showed up at the Battle of Hogwarts, and book eight begins with a spaceship that uses both technology and magic. This installment would take place a bit later in book eight (and the post title is borrowed from a P. J. O'Rourke book):
The nameplate on the door simply read: Geoffrey Grimace, Section Chief. Hermione had her wand out, but she had no need to use it. Her glare was enough to keep the staffers immobile at their desks. She entered unannounced.
Despite the trappings of power, grand wood-paneled office and gleaming baroque furniture, the man behind the desk was not imposing. He was small, plump, and had smudges on his glasses and stains on his tie and shirt. He looked up when Hermione entered, "Ms. Granger, please stop waving your wand around. If you use spells on anyone in this building it results in an enormous amount of very tedious paperwork."
Hermione slid her wand into a pocket, but her visage remained fierce.
"Now Ms. Granger, to what do I owe the pleasure? Have you taken up my offer to join Her Majesty's Service? Your classmate, Anthony Goldstein is doing absolutely fantastic work. I'd welcome you here of course. You'd be no good at operations, you are simply too kind and empathic. But you would rise quickly in the Analytic department. Great opportunities, there is talk of setting up an entire new agency - MI-7 just for wizardry."
Hermione glowered, "How did you find my parents?"
"I'm sorry?"
"When we first met at the Battle of Hogwarts, you said you had interviewed my parents. But I had used spells to wipe their memories and sent them to Australia. How did you find them?"
"Inland Revenue Service. Two substantial and diligent taxpayers suddenly disappear from the rolls. The people in that division were under you magic so they had no recollection which bothered the special auditors office even more. The very scale of the anomaly and dearth of information triggered enormous curiosity. Soon there was a multi-agency task force working the file, hunting desperately for details. A blank spot this big was undoubtedly concealing something of great enormity - a terrorist perhaps, organized crime, maybe just good old tax evasion on an enormous scale. It became such a large mystery that it reached my desk just as Downing St. asked me to take on the wizardry portfolio. I had a hunch that these items were related - I didn't share this hunch of course but pressed for deeper and wider-ranging investigations. We scraped together records of your parents' existence. We got a bit side-tracked at one point. Did you know your mother had a fling with a Michael O'Shea in college before meeting your father? He did some fundraising for the IRA back in the day and we tracked him down in America. He said your mother was the most boring woman he had ever met."
Hermione's eyes went from hot to cold. Her hand strayed toward her jacket pocket.
"I would not do that Ms. Granger. Mr. Shacklebolt has been very diligent in tracking down errant magic-users. He would put you in Azkaban," Grimace said, almost sadly.
"How is it that you've turned that brave man into your puppet?"
"I am an intelligence operative. I use craft to corner people into doing things that they would rather not do, that are often against their own interest."
Grimace paused a moment, shifting behind his desk, "You want to know more details, that is why you asked about how I found your parents, to sense how far my powers go. It is simple, if the Ministry of Magic begins acting in ways in which we do not approve we have prepared a number of contingency plans that would make the lives of magic folk extremely unpleasant. We could simply expose the names and locations of all the magic folk in the United Kingdom - we have extensive dossiers. We could also shell Hogwarts with howitzers. We have dozens of plans, with multiple redundancies. The magic-users have great powers, but it is impossible for them to ferret out and foil all of our plans. To effectively ruin the wizarding world in the United Kingdom, only one of our plans needs to succeed."
"You are a horrible, devious little man," Hermione spat.
"Perhaps," Grimace's chatty tone became sharp, "But it was not our conflicts spilling into your world that led to this change of state. And we have done nothing to interfere with your daily lives so long as you stay clear of ours. As we establish new relations we have consulted with you every step of the way. Now, I am afraid this discussion is at an end. You may leave, and on your exit I really must insist that you keep your wand to yourself."
Hermione, mechanically stood and prepared to leave. As she reached the door, Grimace said, congenial again, "Ms. Granger, you really are a bright young woman. But I was doing this before you were born. And I was up against the Russians - you magic folk are innocents compared to them."
The nameplate on the door simply read: Geoffrey Grimace, Section Chief. Hermione had her wand out, but she had no need to use it. Her glare was enough to keep the staffers immobile at their desks. She entered unannounced.
Despite the trappings of power, grand wood-paneled office and gleaming baroque furniture, the man behind the desk was not imposing. He was small, plump, and had smudges on his glasses and stains on his tie and shirt. He looked up when Hermione entered, "Ms. Granger, please stop waving your wand around. If you use spells on anyone in this building it results in an enormous amount of very tedious paperwork."
Hermione slid her wand into a pocket, but her visage remained fierce.
"Now Ms. Granger, to what do I owe the pleasure? Have you taken up my offer to join Her Majesty's Service? Your classmate, Anthony Goldstein is doing absolutely fantastic work. I'd welcome you here of course. You'd be no good at operations, you are simply too kind and empathic. But you would rise quickly in the Analytic department. Great opportunities, there is talk of setting up an entire new agency - MI-7 just for wizardry."
Hermione glowered, "How did you find my parents?"
"I'm sorry?"
"When we first met at the Battle of Hogwarts, you said you had interviewed my parents. But I had used spells to wipe their memories and sent them to Australia. How did you find them?"
"Inland Revenue Service. Two substantial and diligent taxpayers suddenly disappear from the rolls. The people in that division were under you magic so they had no recollection which bothered the special auditors office even more. The very scale of the anomaly and dearth of information triggered enormous curiosity. Soon there was a multi-agency task force working the file, hunting desperately for details. A blank spot this big was undoubtedly concealing something of great enormity - a terrorist perhaps, organized crime, maybe just good old tax evasion on an enormous scale. It became such a large mystery that it reached my desk just as Downing St. asked me to take on the wizardry portfolio. I had a hunch that these items were related - I didn't share this hunch of course but pressed for deeper and wider-ranging investigations. We scraped together records of your parents' existence. We got a bit side-tracked at one point. Did you know your mother had a fling with a Michael O'Shea in college before meeting your father? He did some fundraising for the IRA back in the day and we tracked him down in America. He said your mother was the most boring woman he had ever met."
Hermione's eyes went from hot to cold. Her hand strayed toward her jacket pocket.
"I would not do that Ms. Granger. Mr. Shacklebolt has been very diligent in tracking down errant magic-users. He would put you in Azkaban," Grimace said, almost sadly.
"How is it that you've turned that brave man into your puppet?"
"I am an intelligence operative. I use craft to corner people into doing things that they would rather not do, that are often against their own interest."
Grimace paused a moment, shifting behind his desk, "You want to know more details, that is why you asked about how I found your parents, to sense how far my powers go. It is simple, if the Ministry of Magic begins acting in ways in which we do not approve we have prepared a number of contingency plans that would make the lives of magic folk extremely unpleasant. We could simply expose the names and locations of all the magic folk in the United Kingdom - we have extensive dossiers. We could also shell Hogwarts with howitzers. We have dozens of plans, with multiple redundancies. The magic-users have great powers, but it is impossible for them to ferret out and foil all of our plans. To effectively ruin the wizarding world in the United Kingdom, only one of our plans needs to succeed."
"You are a horrible, devious little man," Hermione spat.
"Perhaps," Grimace's chatty tone became sharp, "But it was not our conflicts spilling into your world that led to this change of state. And we have done nothing to interfere with your daily lives so long as you stay clear of ours. As we establish new relations we have consulted with you every step of the way. Now, I am afraid this discussion is at an end. You may leave, and on your exit I really must insist that you keep your wand to yourself."
Hermione, mechanically stood and prepared to leave. As she reached the door, Grimace said, congenial again, "Ms. Granger, you really are a bright young woman. But I was doing this before you were born. And I was up against the Russians - you magic folk are innocents compared to them."
Thursday, June 07, 2012
Harry Potter 8: The Muggles Rising
This is the final installment of my brief adaptation of the Harry Potter series to include a bit more robust activity by the Muggles. The first installment, here, takes place at the beginning of Book 6, when the Minister of Magic meets with the Prime Minister. The second installment, here, takes place at the end of Book 7 during the Battle of Hogwarts.
This final piece is effectively the beginning of a hypothetical (and never to be written) Book 8.
Anthony Goldstein was dreadfully uncomfortable in his Muggle uniform, but regular clothes lacked the proper decorum for a military vessel and his Wizarding Robes made the Muggle crewmen nervous. Of course, they were skittish around him no matter what he wore, except for the captain. He treated Goldstein with the same genial contempt with which he treated all of his crew. The man had been in dogfights and landed jumpjets on carriers in the stormy gray skies and seas around the Falklands, he was man not easily spooked. But a bit of discomfort was a small price to pay for being the Chief Magic Officer on the HMMV Dumbledore, the very first magic-infused spacecraft.
"Final check, all systems operational?" the Captain demanded.
Anthony began the final systems check. It was a tricky job. Magic and electronics did not get along well. When Anthony first started at Arthur Weasley's new office at the ministry they were trying to mix magic and jet-fighters. It had been a disaster. But when they pulled some old mothballed Spitfires into service and added magic, the results were incredible. Muggles could manipulate magic infused systems pretty well, as long as they had an interface. The Captain had been a test pilot and shot down a dragon in record time.
But you couldn't build a spaceship without some electronics, so keeping the two systems from interfering with each other was his main job. They didn't even know if magic would work in space. Professor McGonigle was at Oxford now, discussing that problem with Muggle scientists. Rumor had it she was quite taken with one. Whenever anyone mentioned Professor Hawking, she flushed and muttered, "He's like a Muggle Dumbledore!"
Anthony finished his systems check and gave the all clear.
"Engage magic drives, ignite engines!" the Captain ordered.
The Dumbledore began rising, silently, like an enormous elevator.
Less then one hundred people knew about this launch. The British Muggle-Wizard alliance was still a secret. Shacklebolt as minister spent all his time keeping the wizards in line with the new order of things, he'd even had to send some particularly indiscreet wizards to Azkaban. The leaders hadn't quite figured out how best to use their new capabilities. If word got out, other countries had wizards too and Britain would lose its advantage. Hermione was at the Defense Ministry studying the problem, he'd seen her lecture on it - game theory, comparative advantage, Magically Assured Destruction, it had been dreadfully boring.
Although they felt nothing, the Dumbledore was moving very fast. In moments the gray sky of England gave way to deep violet and then the inky star-studded blackness of space. The ship was silent as the crew stared out the portals in awe. Then, spontaneously they broke into song:
Anthony listened for a few seconds, then surprised, found himself joining in.
This final piece is effectively the beginning of a hypothetical (and never to be written) Book 8.
Anthony Goldstein was dreadfully uncomfortable in his Muggle uniform, but regular clothes lacked the proper decorum for a military vessel and his Wizarding Robes made the Muggle crewmen nervous. Of course, they were skittish around him no matter what he wore, except for the captain. He treated Goldstein with the same genial contempt with which he treated all of his crew. The man had been in dogfights and landed jumpjets on carriers in the stormy gray skies and seas around the Falklands, he was man not easily spooked. But a bit of discomfort was a small price to pay for being the Chief Magic Officer on the HMMV Dumbledore, the very first magic-infused spacecraft.
"Final check, all systems operational?" the Captain demanded.
Anthony began the final systems check. It was a tricky job. Magic and electronics did not get along well. When Anthony first started at Arthur Weasley's new office at the ministry they were trying to mix magic and jet-fighters. It had been a disaster. But when they pulled some old mothballed Spitfires into service and added magic, the results were incredible. Muggles could manipulate magic infused systems pretty well, as long as they had an interface. The Captain had been a test pilot and shot down a dragon in record time.
But you couldn't build a spaceship without some electronics, so keeping the two systems from interfering with each other was his main job. They didn't even know if magic would work in space. Professor McGonigle was at Oxford now, discussing that problem with Muggle scientists. Rumor had it she was quite taken with one. Whenever anyone mentioned Professor Hawking, she flushed and muttered, "He's like a Muggle Dumbledore!"
Anthony finished his systems check and gave the all clear.
"Engage magic drives, ignite engines!" the Captain ordered.
The Dumbledore began rising, silently, like an enormous elevator.
Less then one hundred people knew about this launch. The British Muggle-Wizard alliance was still a secret. Shacklebolt as minister spent all his time keeping the wizards in line with the new order of things, he'd even had to send some particularly indiscreet wizards to Azkaban. The leaders hadn't quite figured out how best to use their new capabilities. If word got out, other countries had wizards too and Britain would lose its advantage. Hermione was at the Defense Ministry studying the problem, he'd seen her lecture on it - game theory, comparative advantage, Magically Assured Destruction, it had been dreadfully boring.
Although they felt nothing, the Dumbledore was moving very fast. In moments the gray sky of England gave way to deep violet and then the inky star-studded blackness of space. The ship was silent as the crew stared out the portals in awe. Then, spontaneously they broke into song:
God save our gracious Queen
Long live our noble Queen
God save the Queen
Send her victorious
Happy and glorious
Long to reign over us
God save the Queen
Long live our noble Queen
God save the Queen
Send her victorious
Happy and glorious
Long to reign over us
God save the Queen
Anthony listened for a few seconds, then surprised, found himself joining in.
Friday, November 06, 2009
A Quantum of Solace in the World Series
As a home of devoted Yankee-haters we are unhappy with the World Series outcome. But there is one small point of satisfaction. GoofBoy was becoming convinced that he was the cause of the losses. I let him stay up late and watch games 3 & 4. Through tears he told me, “Whenever I watch a game the team I root for loses, always, always!”
He blamed himself (he gets that habit from me.) I calmly told him that this was unreasonable. He began citing examples. He marshaled qualitative and quantitative data supporting his position. He noted the many instances of times when he rooted for the favored team and it lost, whereas when he made predictions about possible winners but did not watch the game he was very accurate. He had many specific examples going back for most of his life. The raw numbers were impressive and the findings were statistically significant.
The dad in me wanted to offer comfort, but the grad student in me was getting excited. What if my son were a living demonstration of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle who affected events just by observing them? Think of the groundbreaking research.
I tried to convince my son that this was a super-power.
“But dad…” he looked miserable.
“I know it’s a sacrifice, but that’s how it is with special powers. You think Spiderman has it easy, or Harry Potter, or Shazam?”
He had to go to bed early Monday night and the Phillies won. GoofBoy was pleased because it meant the Yankees lost, but it did nothing to relieve his concerns for his curse. He envisioned a long future of rooting for losers. I tried to console him with the lessons to be learned in loss. I told him how Toots Shor used to make his son watch the Mets because, “I want him to know life. It’s a history lesson. He’ll understand the depression.”
The cultural references were lost on him. Meanwhile visions of fellowships were dancing in my head.
Then the Phillies lost the series Wednesday night. He didn’t watch. The next morning when I told him, GoofBoy was pretty upset.
“Hey Buddy,” I explained, “Think on the bright side. You weren’t watching. They lost without you. It wasn’t because of you.”
GoofBoy looked at me gravely (well, as gravely as a little boy in spaceship pajamas can) and said, “I’m sorry dad.”
“For what?”
“Well, if I had the power to make teams lose by rooting for them, I would have learned to love the Yankees. I know you would have disowned me as your son for being a Yankees fan, but you would be so happy because then the Yankees would always lose.”
“Buddy, no…” I began.
“It’s ok dad, I thought about what you said, about Spiderman. With great power comes great responsibility. If I could make the Yankees lose, then I have to do it.”
“But we’ve proven it buddy, you don’t have the power so don’t worry about it. A little boy shouldn’t have that much responsibility. Harry Potter only had to fight Voldemort – not the Bronx Bombers.”
He blamed himself (he gets that habit from me.) I calmly told him that this was unreasonable. He began citing examples. He marshaled qualitative and quantitative data supporting his position. He noted the many instances of times when he rooted for the favored team and it lost, whereas when he made predictions about possible winners but did not watch the game he was very accurate. He had many specific examples going back for most of his life. The raw numbers were impressive and the findings were statistically significant.
The dad in me wanted to offer comfort, but the grad student in me was getting excited. What if my son were a living demonstration of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle who affected events just by observing them? Think of the groundbreaking research.
I tried to convince my son that this was a super-power.
“But dad…” he looked miserable.
“I know it’s a sacrifice, but that’s how it is with special powers. You think Spiderman has it easy, or Harry Potter, or Shazam?”
He had to go to bed early Monday night and the Phillies won. GoofBoy was pleased because it meant the Yankees lost, but it did nothing to relieve his concerns for his curse. He envisioned a long future of rooting for losers. I tried to console him with the lessons to be learned in loss. I told him how Toots Shor used to make his son watch the Mets because, “I want him to know life. It’s a history lesson. He’ll understand the depression.”
The cultural references were lost on him. Meanwhile visions of fellowships were dancing in my head.
Then the Phillies lost the series Wednesday night. He didn’t watch. The next morning when I told him, GoofBoy was pretty upset.
“Hey Buddy,” I explained, “Think on the bright side. You weren’t watching. They lost without you. It wasn’t because of you.”
GoofBoy looked at me gravely (well, as gravely as a little boy in spaceship pajamas can) and said, “I’m sorry dad.”
“For what?”
“Well, if I had the power to make teams lose by rooting for them, I would have learned to love the Yankees. I know you would have disowned me as your son for being a Yankees fan, but you would be so happy because then the Yankees would always lose.”
“Buddy, no…” I began.
“It’s ok dad, I thought about what you said, about Spiderman. With great power comes great responsibility. If I could make the Yankees lose, then I have to do it.”
“But we’ve proven it buddy, you don’t have the power so don’t worry about it. A little boy shouldn’t have that much responsibility. Harry Potter only had to fight Voldemort – not the Bronx Bombers.”
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
Vignettes of GoofBoy - A Great Son
Most of what I've been writing about GoofBoy lately has been negative - not about him - but about his challenges (and frustrations) with fifth grade. But I wouldn't want to give the impression that being his dad is without rewards. Almost every day he does something incredible.
------
GoofBoy read the Orson Scott Card classic Ender’s Game recently. This is a great book, really miles ahead of Harry Potter as literature - and I don’t say that lightly, I like Harry Potter.
He knew he wanted to read it, but he was afraid to ask me because it had bad words. I responded, “I know you know all the bad words. You can read books that use them, but I don’t want YOU to use them.”
The book blew him away. I remember going to his room during the weekend he read it. He looked up at me and said, “Dad, I just don’t want to do anything but read this book.”
Unfortunately it was a bit too good. He can’t get into anything else. He started the sequel to Ender’s Game but it was a bit too advanced. He went back to a young adult series he had been reading and it was just too lightweight.
------
We had a little boy over, he is about half of GoofBoy’s age, but GoofBoy loves him. It was rainy, so they stayed inside, chasing each other around the house shooting each other with Nerf Guns. I noticed as they were playing that the little boy had on the Nerf safety glasses.
“Buddy,” I told GoofBoy, “Good job, you remembered to have your playmate put on the safety glasses without my telling you.”
“Dad, I wouldn’t want him to get hurt cause then they might not let him come over again.”
“That’s very responsible of you.”
GoofBoy grinned, “And now I can aim for his eyes!”
------
For Jewish holidays the little Goofs have been home a lot and there are no electronics for us on those days. So GoofGirl was getting a little bored and MamaGoof and I needed a naps (drinking wine to celebrate our holidays is tradition).
GoofBoy rose to the occasion. He sat on the floor, pulled his sister into his lap and told her stories – stories he just made up. Unsurprisingly, they were action stories, and GoofBoy bounced and tossed his sister to enliven the drama.
When I finally got up, I told GoofBoy how helpful he had been and said that the bouncing in his lap made his stories like a ride at Disneyland.
“Yeah,” he grinned, “Where do you think I got the idea?”
-----
That a boy would build a model of the Empire State Building with Legos is no surprise. But the little valentine was an odd touch, so I asked GoofBoy about it.
He explained, “I added the heart on September 11th.”
------
GoofBoy read the Orson Scott Card classic Ender’s Game recently. This is a great book, really miles ahead of Harry Potter as literature - and I don’t say that lightly, I like Harry Potter.
He knew he wanted to read it, but he was afraid to ask me because it had bad words. I responded, “I know you know all the bad words. You can read books that use them, but I don’t want YOU to use them.”
The book blew him away. I remember going to his room during the weekend he read it. He looked up at me and said, “Dad, I just don’t want to do anything but read this book.”
Unfortunately it was a bit too good. He can’t get into anything else. He started the sequel to Ender’s Game but it was a bit too advanced. He went back to a young adult series he had been reading and it was just too lightweight.
------
We had a little boy over, he is about half of GoofBoy’s age, but GoofBoy loves him. It was rainy, so they stayed inside, chasing each other around the house shooting each other with Nerf Guns. I noticed as they were playing that the little boy had on the Nerf safety glasses.
“Buddy,” I told GoofBoy, “Good job, you remembered to have your playmate put on the safety glasses without my telling you.”
“Dad, I wouldn’t want him to get hurt cause then they might not let him come over again.”
“That’s very responsible of you.”
GoofBoy grinned, “And now I can aim for his eyes!”
------
For Jewish holidays the little Goofs have been home a lot and there are no electronics for us on those days. So GoofGirl was getting a little bored and MamaGoof and I needed a naps (drinking wine to celebrate our holidays is tradition).
GoofBoy rose to the occasion. He sat on the floor, pulled his sister into his lap and told her stories – stories he just made up. Unsurprisingly, they were action stories, and GoofBoy bounced and tossed his sister to enliven the drama.
When I finally got up, I told GoofBoy how helpful he had been and said that the bouncing in his lap made his stories like a ride at Disneyland.
“Yeah,” he grinned, “Where do you think I got the idea?”
-----
He explained, “I added the heart on September 11th.”
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Book Review: Peter and the Starcatchers
Not satisfied with being a best-selling humorist who makes me want to give up writing every time I read his books (when I catch my breath from laughing) the illustrious Dave Barry has decided to dominate another genre. His series, co-authored with Ridley Pearson, Peter and the Starcatchers was a lot fun.
The whole series (four books in all) is a prequel to the story of Peter Pan. Peter is an orphan who gets tied up with a earth-based front of an inter-stellar war. In the process he acquires the powers of flight and eternal youth. I won't say anymore. It is Harry Potter-esque, but without wizards (there is some magic but it isn't as pervasive.) We listened to the series, which was read by Jim Dale (who is also narrator of the Harry Potter series) and it was odd how certain voices and characters seemed interchangeable. Molly Astor (I don't give much away when I reveal she is the mother of Wendy Darling) sounds a lot like Hermione. Her father is Dumbledore-esque - although a non-wizard Dumbledore is much cooler. Anyone can be a genius wizard with magic - try doing it without magic though!
Dale, by the way won an "Audie" award for his narration of the series.
The books aren't perfect, there are tedious bits. But there is also a nice Dickensian gloom to parts of it, also there is real sadness when Peter realizes that he won't grow up but the girl he loves will. Best of all, are the bad guys. In book 3 we learn what they are really about and what they really want and it is super creepy and almost metaphysical. I like books where there is something really big at stake.
Probably the best endorsement I can offer is that the series ends around 1900. The little Goofs and I have been speculating that since Peter is ageless, perhaps he can come back to help out in World War II.
Dale, by the way won an "Audie" award for his narration of the series.
The books aren't perfect, there are tedious bits. But there is also a nice Dickensian gloom to parts of it, also there is real sadness when Peter realizes that he won't grow up but the girl he loves will. Best of all, are the bad guys. In book 3 we learn what they are really about and what they really want and it is super creepy and almost metaphysical. I like books where there is something really big at stake.
Probably the best endorsement I can offer is that the series ends around 1900. The little Goofs and I have been speculating that since Peter is ageless, perhaps he can come back to help out in World War II.
Tuesday, June 05, 2012
Harry Potter & The Muggles at Hogwarts
This is part two of my re-write of the Harry Potter series with a more active role for the Muggles.
The first installment, set at the beginning of Book Six when the Prime
Minister meets the Minister of Magic, is here.
This part takes place at the end of Book Seven during the Battle of
Hogwarts.
The Battle of Hogwarts was going very badly. The defenders were slowly, but surely being
driven back.
Suddenly, Death Eaters began collapsing, blood streaming
from their heads across the floor. Large
numbers of men, wearing green and brown swarmed into the room. They were incredibly fast and moved silently,
making rapid hand gestures to one another.
“Those are funny shaped wands, and I’ve never heard of a
spell like that!” Ron yelled, startled.
“Those are Muggle soldiers!” Hermione said, surprised, “How
are they…”
Voldemort’s pale face broke into an enormous grin. This was even more frightening then his
previous expressions of anger. But as he
turned to face the newcomers, his wand ablaze, two jets of flame shot into
him. There was an enormous crashing
sound and the building shook. When the
noise and dust cleared there was no sign of Voldemort.
A pair of Muggle soldiers with metal tubes on their shoulders
nodded to one another.
The rest of the Death Eeaters surrendered quickly. The wizards milled about, confused. But the Muggle soldiers did not. Still silent, but moving snake-like around
the room, the soldiers surrounded the wizards.
The silence was broken when a Muggle soldier spoke, not
loudly, but in a voice like cut glass, “Wizards – wands on the ground and hands
in the air. Now!”
The wizards moved as though under a powerful imperius curse.
The Muggle soldiers shifted slightly and a short, stocky man
emerged. His glasses were smudged, his
tie was soiled, and his shirt was stained.
He blinked and moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue. Despite these nervous gestures he had an
aspect of preternatural calm.
“I’m Geoffrey Grimace, MI-5,” he began, “Shacklebolt, I
assume you are in charge now. The Prime
Minister has authorized me to present you with an updated version of the treaty
governing Muggle-Wizard relations. We
are open to amendments to ensure more effective implementation, but the main
thrust of our changes are not open to negotiation.”
He handed over the papers and the wizards gathered around and began looking them over. A voice called out, “Muggles
and wizards have been separated for centuries, you can’t change that! We won’t
stand for it.”
“Yes we can and yes, you will,” Grimace replied, still
calm. “The government of the United
Kingdom can no longer tolerate this separate community with
extraordinary powers, operating without proper oversight. We have
demonstrated that you are not immune to our kinetic methods and we are prepared
to use them to a far greater extent then what you have just seen. There are explosives planted throughout the
grounds. Our first move will be to
reduce this castle to rubble.”
“You know, electrical devices cannot work at Hogwarts,”
Hermione spoke up.
“You must be Ms. Granger. I had a most revealing interview with your
parents,” Grimace said, without a hint of menace.
Hermione gulped audibly.
Grimace continued, “We have encountered a comparable
situation before. In the fighting in
Northern Ireland, the terrorists were using radio signals to detonate their
explosives. We developed jammers and
they countered with some very innovative non-electrical detonators. A quick search of our archives presented a
number of options. I am curious as to
their efficacy.”
Grimace turned, “Sergeant, let us try the emplacements in
sector D.”
“Yes Sir!” one of the soldiers replied.
An instant later, there was a deafening thunderclap and an
enormous cloud of smoke and dust appeared out the window. One of the far turrets had been
pile of rubble.
Shacklebolt’s face was ashen and his voice ragged, “I will
visit the Prime Minister as soon as possible.
I have a great deal to do here.”
Grimace retorted, “The Prime Minister is very busy and does
not have time to attend to this personally. At the back is a schedule of meetings between our
representatives. You shall need to
appoint your delegation promptly – the Prime Minister will not be pleased if
this matter is delayed.”
To be continued!
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Why the Cards Must Win!
As I’ve mentioned before, my son gets pretty emotional about sporting events. He has decided he hates the Steelers (because they beat his beloved Ravens). He is watching the Superbowl as we speak. (I am being a good daddy and keeping my daughter company as she watches The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe - she identifies with the White Witch.)
If the Cardinals do not come back, I fear his wrath. Some recent incidents are worrisome. Reading Harry Potter we came to the scene of the world quidditch championship (it is a game the wizards play, on broomsticks). My son decided he wanted Bulgaria to win and PLOT SPOILER ALERT when they didn’t he was despondent. He was upset that his randomly chosen team in a non-existent game, that occurred in a work of fiction, so that the results were already set, didn’t win! This is beyond obsessive.
Worse, we spent the afternoon watching Animal Planet’s PuppyBowl. He was rooting for the beagle and furious that the ref kept giving passes to the oversized Aussie sheepdog.
But the absolute worst part is that when he bursts into tears and is inconsolable, it is everything my wife and I can do to keep from laughing.
Anyway - sorry Pittsburgh fans, this isn't personal - but "Go Cards! Please!"
If the Cardinals do not come back, I fear his wrath. Some recent incidents are worrisome. Reading Harry Potter we came to the scene of the world quidditch championship (it is a game the wizards play, on broomsticks). My son decided he wanted Bulgaria to win and PLOT SPOILER ALERT when they didn’t he was despondent. He was upset that his randomly chosen team in a non-existent game, that occurred in a work of fiction, so that the results were already set, didn’t win! This is beyond obsessive.
Worse, we spent the afternoon watching Animal Planet’s PuppyBowl. He was rooting for the beagle and furious that the ref kept giving passes to the oversized Aussie sheepdog.
But the absolute worst part is that when he bursts into tears and is inconsolable, it is everything my wife and I can do to keep from laughing.
Anyway - sorry Pittsburgh fans, this isn't personal - but "Go Cards! Please!"
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Nothing to Fear Factor
So my wife really likes horror movies. I cannot share this passion with her. You see, I get really, really scared.
For a long-time I elided the problem. When it was time to pick a movie, I could usually steer us towards something more palatable and less scary. Then she started to figure it out. She'd ask me about classic horror movies (like The Shining) and my responses would be unclear. I could fake it for a while because I had read the Mad Magazine parodies of a lot of the movies. But this facade could not last forever.
The other night she tried to bait me into watching The Exorcist - but I've already had enough experience with demonic possession.
I should start out easy on this. My son and I are listening to the Harry Potter series together. He loves it, I'm having nightmares.
For a long-time I elided the problem. When it was time to pick a movie, I could usually steer us towards something more palatable and less scary. Then she started to figure it out. She'd ask me about classic horror movies (like The Shining) and my responses would be unclear. I could fake it for a while because I had read the Mad Magazine parodies of a lot of the movies. But this facade could not last forever.
The other night she tried to bait me into watching The Exorcist - but I've already had enough experience with demonic possession.
I should start out easy on this. My son and I are listening to the Harry Potter series together. He loves it, I'm having nightmares.
Friday, July 10, 2009
The Bedtime Disinterest
It may be borderline child-abuse, but my kids have been particularly resistant to bedtime lately. So, to get them to sleep I've taken to reading excerpts from the foreign policy journal The National Interest to them. I'm not sure if my motivations are (to put it in the terms of statecraft) deterrence, distraction, or punitive. Whatever my intent, even a few sentences along these lines and my kids begin to protest (I'm fascinated):
What do they have against Jackson-Vanik anyway?
So when I pulled out the latest issue they begin to howl.
"No," I said pointing to the cover, "This is Harry Potter 8, Voldemort's revenge. Look at the cover, you know they cast some cool spells."
"No it isn't, it's your magazine, the National Boring"
When I began to read, my son grabbed it away and it flew open.
"See," I said quickly pointing to the picture on the open page, "It's Dumbledore!"
The question is: are these arguments of sufficient weight to justify resistance to closer U.S.-Russian coordination on issues of strong mutual interest?By the time it got good, the kids were screaming.
An even-more complex question is whether there is innate resistance within the American foreign-policy community to an improved relationship with Russia. Are we holding the Russians to a higher standard of performance than we do other nations with whom we deal? And, if so, why? The continued existence of the Jackson-Vanik amendment—which withheld trade benefits in an effort to force the Soviet Union to allow freer emigration—almost two decades after Communism’s collapse seems to be proof positive.
What do they have against Jackson-Vanik anyway?
So when I pulled out the latest issue they begin to howl.
"No," I said pointing to the cover, "This is Harry Potter 8, Voldemort's revenge. Look at the cover, you know they cast some cool spells."
"No it isn't, it's your magazine, the National Boring"
When I began to read, my son grabbed it away and it flew open.
"See," I said quickly pointing to the picture on the open page, "It's Dumbledore!"
Monday, March 18, 2013
A Pair of Great Books from Clare Vanderpool
"Dad, this story is so good!"I was relieved to hear this. On our drive home from an excursion to Philly we finished Watership Down. I knew this would happen, so I had gotten a new book. But we were out of Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, and the City of Ember - and the kids had started reading Lemony Snicket on their own. So I just started poking around looking for something new. I stumbled on the 2011 Newbery Award-winning Moon Over Manifest by Clare Vanderpool. I guess Newbery Award should be enough of an endorsement, but I worried that it would be too precious, or without action the Goofs would be bored.
I needn't have worried at all. Within moments of listening we were swept into the story (cynical Father Goof included!)
Set in the Depression it is about Abilene, a streetwise girl who had been riding the rails with her father when suddenly he sends her off to the town of Manifest where he had been raised. She lives with the man who took in her father when he was a teenage drifter, discovers a cache of letters from almost two decades earlier. The story moves back and forth between the narrator's present and the stories told by the letters, set during World War 1 and the Great Influenza.
Abilene, feeling that her father has sent her to Manifest to abandon her, begin exploring the town's past in order to learn who her father really is.
Moon Over Manifest is a nice change of pace from all of the fantasy and adventure. There are fantastic, mysterious moments but the story is based in reality. It is sad and sweet, with a history lesson thrown in.
In short, the little Goofs description was dead on.
Best of all, Ms. Vanderpool has another book, Navigating Early. Another story of a young person feeling abandoned by his parents. Set in Maine during World War 2' Jack 's mother in Kansas has died and his father is serving in the Navy. Jack is sent to a boarding school in Maine where he falls in with the odd outcast Early who sees the number Pi as a story. Over a school break, Jack joins Early on a quest through Maine's deep woods. We are still in the middle, but, while completely real, Navigating Early also has a magical, mythical quality to it.
The little Goofs say Navigating Early is even better than Moon Over Manifest. I say, why choose.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Have Yourself a Very Restful Christmas...
Although we don't actually celebrate Christmas (what with being Jewish and all...) the kids did get together and give my wife and I a magnificent gift this morning. They slept until 7:30! Then they came barging into our room yelling.
The slept late because we kept them up very late, watching the movie The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. I read it to my son and am reading it now to my daughter, so they are big fans.
My daughter liked Aslan and Mr. Tumnus and Lucy. But she really liked the White Witch.
"When people disagree with her, she turns them into stone! That's cool!"
Much to her disappointment, I will not be getting her a magic wand for Chanukah (Target is all sold out...)
I've read the entire Narnia series to my son, we are now listening to Harry Potter on CD, and he just saw the very cool One Man Star Wars (plus he knows the entire series by osmosis).
So I asked him which was his favorite. He looked at me for a long time, I thought his head might explode. But after a while he said, "I like them all - but football is my favorite."
I am trying to raise a geek. But despite my best efforts I may get a pretty normal kid.
Sigh.
The slept late because we kept them up very late, watching the movie The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. I read it to my son and am reading it now to my daughter, so they are big fans.
My daughter liked Aslan and Mr. Tumnus and Lucy. But she really liked the White Witch.
"When people disagree with her, she turns them into stone! That's cool!"
Much to her disappointment, I will not be getting her a magic wand for Chanukah (Target is all sold out...)
I've read the entire Narnia series to my son, we are now listening to Harry Potter on CD, and he just saw the very cool One Man Star Wars (plus he knows the entire series by osmosis).
So I asked him which was his favorite. He looked at me for a long time, I thought his head might explode. But after a while he said, "I like them all - but football is my favorite."
I am trying to raise a geek. But despite my best efforts I may get a pretty normal kid.
Sigh.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Time to Read Elephant Small
GoofGirl is learning to read, which is pretty cool – although she is frustrated with it. She can understand complicated stories (she listened to the Harry Potter series with her brother). But the books she can read now are very simple and yet are a huge slog for her to get through.
This is pretty normal. I didn’t really learn to read until I was seven, and I’m a writer now! Living in region dominated by over-achievers where children can be tracked to special education if they aren’t reading by kindergarten – my story is a bit of PTA samizdat. In fact my tale has spread and anxious parents comfort themselves with it like early Christians reciting the catechism in the catacombs.
Anyway, GoofGirl has to read a book to her class. She picked Time for Bed Elephant Small. Before we got into Beverly Clearly, Judy Blume, and Barbara Park this was a bedtime favorite. As GoofGirl works her way through she also explicates the story for me (WARNING: If you are ever planning to read Time for Bed Elephant Small, read no further since what follows pretty much ruins it.)
“Daddy,” she explained, “I think the elephants are toys in a dollhouse. A girl is playing bedtime with them. That is why they have those seams and look like stuffed animals. And Clockwork Mouse, who Elephant Small chases before bedtime - he is a toy mouse. That's why he has a wind-up thing. At the end, when Elephant Mom opens the window so Elephant Small can see the moon. I think it is just a piece of paper with the sky and the moon painted on it and pasted to the dollhouse window.”
This clever interpretation had never occurred to me. She will be ready to read soon enough – but I’m not sure reading is ready for her.
This is pretty normal. I didn’t really learn to read until I was seven, and I’m a writer now! Living in region dominated by over-achievers where children can be tracked to special education if they aren’t reading by kindergarten – my story is a bit of PTA samizdat. In fact my tale has spread and anxious parents comfort themselves with it like early Christians reciting the catechism in the catacombs.
Anyway, GoofGirl has to read a book to her class. She picked Time for Bed Elephant Small. Before we got into Beverly Clearly, Judy Blume, and Barbara Park this was a bedtime favorite. As GoofGirl works her way through she also explicates the story for me (WARNING: If you are ever planning to read Time for Bed Elephant Small, read no further since what follows pretty much ruins it.)
This clever interpretation had never occurred to me. She will be ready to read soon enough – but I’m not sure reading is ready for her.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Anne of Green Gables I: A Review
During carpool the little Goofs and I have been listening to the Lucy Maude Montgomery classics beginning with Anne of Green Gables. They are great books and a nice change of pace from Percy Jackson and more adventurous fare. But they are nice to listen to, a window into a different time and place. The little Goofs cannot grasp that there was no TV or cars. Anne as a schoolteacher as a teenager is simply unbelievable. Rural life a hundred years ago is quite exotic to the suburban Goofs.
The writing can be funny – as when Anne accidentally gets her playmate drunk or breaks the slate board over Gilbert’s head for calling her “carrots.”
GoofBoy mutters a bit about it, because it isn’t action-packed. But he remembers each character and each plot turn. GoofGirl demands it the minute we get in the car. Certain tropes and characters have become jokes for us. In the first book, Anne obsessed over getting a dress with puffy sleeves. GoofGirl – no slouch at fashion – sighed in exasperations, “What is the big deal about the puffy sleeves. Get over it girl!”
We also laugh about the town busybody. But, and this credits the depth of the characters, the town busybody isn’t simply a one-dimensional joke. She is a real person. While her advice is often unwanted, it is almost always good. Sometimes she is awfully annoying, but sometimes she is a great friend – and that is how people actually are.
There are also wonderful, lush descriptions of a beautiful country that make us want to visit Prince Edward Island. Finally, there are the snide jokes about “the States,” which is a fount of crazy notions like women preachers and where honest Canadians are likely to be cheated of their hard-earned wages. At the same time, the glamorous millionaires that summer on the Island are from the States.
Worlds of wizards and magic are somehow easier to imagine, though far less real then life in the country a century ago. Anne of Green Gables is broadening in a way that Harry Potter and its ilk can never be.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Watership Down Review: A Bunny Tail with Meat
"Hey guys, want to listen to a story about bunnies?" I asked the Little Goofs.
They agreed and we started listening to Watership Down.
I had read it when I was in 7th grade, just a year older than GoofBoy and had liked it.But, unsurprisingly, I didn't realize what an incredible work it was. It is the story of a band of rabbits who, following a premonition that something bad was going to happen, leave their warren and set off to found a new one. On the way they have many adventures dealing with other animals, people, nature, and other communities of rabbits.
The rabbits have a society, but they are still rabbits. When a bird tells them about the ocean they cannot conceive of it and the concept of a boat is a profound innovation. They have no understanding of what human beings do and their numerals are one, two, three, four, and a great many.
What I did not appreciate when I was 12 was how the author, Richard Adams, creates a rabbit mythology and world that absorbs the reader. The rabbits tell each other stories about their great hero El-ahrairah who through cunning and tricks always bests the elil (enemies of rabbits.) These stories inspire the rabbits to develop clever solutions to their own challenges throughout the story. The addition of a rabbit vocabulary really brought the story to life. At one point, when GoofBoy was hungry he announced, "Dad, can I silflay (lapine for "to feed outside")?
GoofGirl joined in, "Dad, I need to make hraka (droppings)."
And we began referring to the motor vehicles by the rabbit term, "hrududu."
The whole book serves as an allegory about politics and society. At the heart of the rabbits' struggle was their conflict with a bigger warren of rabbits run by the tyrannical General Woundwort - an enormous and strong rabbit. The attitudes of the rabbits under his rule bring to life how totalitarianism works and shapes lives and feelings.
The characters are sharply drawn and engaging. GoofBoy and I have had several debates about the virtues of Bigwig and Captain Holly - a pair of brave rabbit heroes. The action scenes are exciting. During the giant battle at the end, GoofBoy could hardly sit still. I mentioned to GoofBoy that Adams, like so many men of his generation had served in World War II and this informed his presentation of the action. In fact, Adams says that several of the main characters are based on his comrades from his squadron during the war.
One downside was that it might have been just a bit over GoofGirl's head. She certainly got parts of it, and she complained about not understanding the reader's English accent (although she had no trouble with Jim Dale, the reader of the Harry Potter series.) So be it, Watership Down is a challenging book. A bunny story for almost all ages.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)