We sent GoofGirl to school with some leftover veggie Chinese food. Due to Jewish dietary laws, you cannot bring any meat to school. So I sent the teacher an email explaining that it isn’t real chicken or duck, it is all tofu.
After lunch, the teacher replied, thanking me for the explanation but adding, that as she ate my daughter kept hissing, “Feast on the flesh…”
"Please don't call social services," I begged - not for the first time.
At a playdate Goofboy is invited to stay for dinner. When chicken tenders are served he insists on only the little Valentines – no stars or moons for him.
When the host asks why, he explains, “If you eat the hearts of your enemies you will get their power!”
Personally, if he is taking on any attribute of a chicken, I hope he gets their flavor.
At another playdate, GoofGirl is offered oranges. She looked at them and said, “These look funny.”
The hostess explained, “But they are good. They are special oranges that are in season now, called blood oranges.”
My daughter takes a bite and announces, “They are good, and you can really taste the blood.”
The playdate burst into tears and GoofGirl got seconds.
Things began to wind down, and the host child just kept looking nervously at the fruit on the counter. It was clearly time for us to go and the hostess made us take the oranges.
"Please, this was so nice of you to have us over," I began, "We'll return the favor and we don't need to take your food..."
"Oh, I insist," she said, forcing a bag of blood oranges on me as her daughter cowered.
In the car on the way home, Goofgirl grinned, "I like blood oranges."
There is a method to her madness - a spooky and evil method.