Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Ten Commandments of Sledding

OK – I understand that you are getting crazy being cooped up inside all day. I will take you both and some friends over to the huge hill at the middle school and we can go sledding. But we need to establish some rules. Some of these rules have corollaries – so pay attention. These are my rules. I don’t have to explain them.

Violation of any of these rules will lead to us going home.

One
If you sled down hill you carry the sled back up the hill. That’s how it works. I know it makes you tired. That’s the point.

Two
Someone has to hold my coffee mug while I push you down the slope.

If I put it on the ground, it will get knocked over – and it will get cold.

When you are holding my coffee, don’t spill it.

When you are holding my coffee don’t drink it.

If you drink my coffee and you think it tastes “funny” do not ask what is in my hip flask.

Three
If you think you hurt yourself – walk it off or put ice on it (there’s plenty.) I only care if there is blood, and even then only if there is a lot.

Four
I don’t care if you go headfirst down the hill.

If you go headfirst try not to hit anything, and if you want to go sledding again don’t mention any of this to mommy.

Five
Do not throw snowballs at me; it might make me spill my coffee.

If you start a snowball fight with me and I hit you in the ear with a snowball, don’t complain, walk it off.

Six
Keep track of your own turns. I’m not settling arguments about this. I’ll just watch you fight and make snide comments to other parents while I sip my “coffee.”

Seven
I can take a turn whenever I want. I don’t wait. Don’t say that’s not fair – it is perfectly fair. It is my sled and you wouldn’t be here if I didn’t bring you.


Eight
If you get snow down your shirt, don’t whine about it. It comes with sledding and there is nothing I can do about it.

Nine
If you have to go to the bathroom, but you don’t want to stop sledding, don’t tell me – just hold it.

Ten
We are done sledding when I have to pee.

2 comments:

janakikuruppu said...

Followed your link from the power outage 2012 post, and I'm smiling and happy, because your rules made me laugh, and the photo made me feel cool!

I'm gonna have to bookmark this, and share with our guys if snow ever falls again in Maryland, enough for us to sled...

Father Goof said...

This was a really fun post to write - just popped write out. Your S. will love it, that hill is cool.

Maybe a good solid 4 inches, enough for sledding but not enough to close down the entire earth.

Did you see the other link, my daughter has her own snow hobby, which I really don't understand.